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Funny Valentine Quotes

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. – Robert Heinlein

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to. – Rita Rudner

Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day. – Jay Leno

Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. – Author Unknown

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, – but not for love. – William Shakespeare

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. – Groucho Marx

Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. – Julius Gordon

No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along. – Joyce Brothers

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. – Helen Rowland

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. – Hoosier Farmer

Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart. – Author Unknown

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. – Henry Kissinger

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. – Fred Allen

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. – Judith Viorst

If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.- Maya Angelou

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M. Schulz
Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely. – Basta

I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. – Dorothy Parker

Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valery

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. – Lynda Barry

Love is a grave mental disease. – Plato

Love is a game that two can play and both win. – Eva Gabor

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed the living to the dead, now usually attributed adults to children, and children to adults. – Thomas Szasz

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. – Rose Franken

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. – Mickey Rooney

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. – Groucho Marx
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle

It is impossible to love and be wise. – Francis Bacon

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion. – Mirabeau

A kiss is a lovely trick designed nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. – Ingrid Bergman

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